Insights

Dr. Erin Hill Jones

As a parent, I spend a lot of time thinking about (and searching on the internet) my kids’ behavior. Is what they’re doing normal? Should they have outgrown this by now? How do I fix it?

Traditional views of child behavior suggest that from a young age, children learn to use behavior to get what they want (e.g., treats, toys, attention) and avoid what they don’t want (e.g., chores, homework, eating vegetables). If we believe our kids are fully in control of their behavior and consciously choosing when to comply or defy our requests, then it makes sense to use strategies that aim to help them make better choices. This is the foundation of conventional parenting approaches, which typically rely on rewards and consequences to encourage compliance and discourage undesired behaviors.

You can probably think of times when the possibility of a reward or the threat of a consequence helped achieve the desired outcome. But you’ve likely also experienced times when these strategies didn’t work—or even made things worse. That’s because there are limits to what rewards and consequences can accomplish. These methods often fall short when a child knows what’s expected, wants to do it, but simply lacks the skill to follow through. When rewards and consequences are the only tools in our parenting toolbox, children who lack the skill (not the will) to do well may end up unfairly punished or unrewarded. Over time, this can lead to power struggles that leave parents feeling stressed and ineffective—and children feeling frustrated and unsuccessful.

Collaborative Problem Solving^® (CPS)

Collaborative Problem Solving^® (CPS) is an evidence-based approach rooted in brain science that offers an effective way to understand and respond to children’s behavior. CPS has been tested and proven to work through significant research in families, schools, and therapeutic programs. Evidence shows that CPS supports healthy parent-child relationships by increasing empathy for our children while reducing parental stress. In addition to shifting how we think and feel about our kids, CPS provides a structured method for identifying and solving problems together. This helps build essential thinking skills in children and reduces challenging behaviors.

Increasing Empathy, Understanding, and Reducing Parental Stress

Like the age-old chicken-or-egg question, research shows a strong link between behavioral challenges in children and stress in parents. Higher ratings of child behavior difficulties are related to higher levels of parenting stress—and vice versa. Parenting stress is often associated with more punitive and critical parenting practices, which can further increase negative parent-child interactions.

CPS helps break this cycle by reshaping how parents interpret their child’s behavior. The core belief of CPS is: “Kids do well if they can.” In other words, your child is doing the best they can with the skills they have at that moment. They’re not trying to make your life difficult—they’re having a difficult time themselves. During challenging moments, CPS encourages parents to be curious, not furious.

Findings demonstrate that parents and caregivers who learn CPS report lower levels of stress. They understand that difficult behavior stems from skill deficits rather than willful defiance, and they develop greater empathy for their child’s struggles. They also become better at anticipating situations that may lead to problems and intervening in proactive, collaborative ways that reduce family conflict.

Building Skills and Reducing Challenging Behaviors

Beyond changing the way parents view behavior, CPS teaches a concrete, step-by-step process for identifying and solving problems with children. Research shows that parents who use CPS report fewer behavioral issues, including oppositional-defiant behavior, conduct problems, and ADHD symptoms. They also report improvements in their children’s executive functioning—especially in managing emotions, controlling impulses, and thinking flexibly.

Final Thoughts

Parenting isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about finding the right tools to understand and support your child. Collaborative Problem Solving gives you a roadmap for doing just that—helping you move from daily battles to meaningful connection.

With CPS, you and your child work together, learn together, and grow together. And that’s the foundation of a strong, healthy relationship.

Research and Evidence for Parents, Caregivers, and Families

The Collaborative Problem Solving approach is supported by over two decades of research across home, clinical, and school settings. Here are a few key studies that highlight its impact with families:

1. Heath, G. H., Fife‐Schaw, C., Wang, L., Eddy, C. J., Hone, M. J., & Pollastri, A. R. (2020). Collaborative Problem Solving reduces children's emotional and behavioral difficulties and parenting stress: Two key mechanisms. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 76(7), 1226-1240.
2. Pollastri, A. R., Wang, L., Eddy, C. J., & Ablon, J. S. (2023). An open trial of Collaborative Problem Solving in a naturalistic outpatient setting. Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 28(2), 512-524.
3. Wang, L., Stoll, S., Hone, M., Ablon, J. S., & Pollastri, A. R. (2022). Effects of a Collaborative Problem Solving Parent Group on Parent and Child Outcomes. Child & Family Behavior Therapy, 44(4), 241-258.
4. Epstein, T., & Saltzman-Benaiah, J. (2010). Parenting children with disruptive behaviours: Evaluation of a collaborative problem solving pilot program. Journal of Clinical Psychology Practice, 1(1), 27-40.
5. Greene, R. W., Ablon, J. S., Goring, J. C., Raezer-Blakely, L., Markey, J., Monuteaux, M. C., ... & Rabbitt, S. (2004). Effectiveness of collaborative problem solving in affectively dysregulated children with oppositional-defiant disorder: initial findings. Journal of Consulting and Clinical psychology, 72(6), 1157
6. Johnson M, Ostlund S, Fransson G, et al. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder with oppositional defiant disorder in Swedish children - an open study of collaborative problem solving. Acta Paediatr 2012;101:624-30.
7. Stetson, E. A., & Plog, A. E. (2016). Collaborative Problem Solving in Schools: Results of a Year-Long Consultation Project. School Social Work Journal, 40(2).